July 22nd, 2022

Had a good day today. Watched some TV with a friend (we watched the Scary Island anime arc of Real Housewives of New York, very excellent trash television if you haven't seen it), and I've mostly just hung out and played video games.

I haven't felt great lately but I'm doing okay. Writing and posting my writing has been a terrifying experience. I'm very self conscious about my creative works and it feels like I'm putting my chest in a vice any time I try to show it to people. I'm hoping that by posting it online, in a space that is a little more... private, I guess, or at least owned by me, that it will start to feel better.

I'm considering making character sheets for my characters, specifically those in Other Gods to Kneel To, but to be honest I'm not a very good character sheet creator. I just don't know how to boil down my OCs, I guess. Probably something to work on, but at the moment, I'll just have to show people how they are through storytelling. Eek!

My vacation is coming up! That's really cool and I can't wait to go. I'm a little bit nervous because I've never flown before but I think I'll be okay. I hope there's a nice view on the way there.

I finally got my desktop to dualboot (I was afraid to try after my last desktop started breaking after I tried to dual boot on there, though that computer is ancient so who knows what happened) but it works! I'm on Endeavour right now and mostly use Windows for gaming, which I've been doing a lot of. I hope to make my windows partition a purely gaming one and try not to use it for browsing and such, but that might take a while. I'm lazy, after all.

I've been reading a lot lately, too. I read This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno. Awesome book, highly recommend. Very good horror story tht also explores identity and grief, etc etc. I can't say much without spoiling, but it was genuinely very creepy.

I also re-read Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica. Another very good book. It has a lot of good character writing and the world feels very alive, for better or for worse.

Other book I finished and enjoyed was What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher. A retelling of The Fall of the House of Usher which is one of my favorite Poe stories. Another good book, atmospheric and embodied a lot of why I like the original but also added some new elements that I thought were well thought-out and interesting. It also has a trans main character, if you're into that sort of thing.

I've read all these books over a course of two days. I'm back in my Voracious Reading era, at least for right now. I guess because I've been so anxious about writing, I just want to read as much as I can so I can be a better writer. I just want to absorb all of this writing I like, which I guess is how you get good at writing in the first place. I need to read more anyways.

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