Perfectionism

I've been struggling a lot with maintaining a website.

This may seem counter-intuitive to the fact that I've been constantly updating and posting probably more often than I ever have, but it's been getting harder and harder. I try to make pages quickly, these days. Otherwise, I will never publish something. I struggle a lot with perfectionism, always have, and have always operated under the mentality that I'd rather not publish something if it has any flaws.

This website has been an effort to move away from that mentality, to just create a space where I throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. I make pages in an hour or two and upload them because the information that I want on them is there, and they're at least semi-functional.

Recently, though, I've been feeling very self conscious about this aspect of my webspace. It seems like I am surrounded by well-manicured websites that are much flashier and better designed than my own.

This is not a dig at those people. I'm happy for them. It just also makes me self conscious in a way that I haven't experienced in a long time.

I just feel less than, I guess. I feel like I am doing this wrong.

This is more of a quick vent than anything, I guess. Just feeling like re-doing my entire website again. Is it ever enough for me, though?

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